We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
