Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
im on a boat
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