champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
