Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
