so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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