um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
