Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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