Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
