do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
