We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
