So drunk its hurt
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
