I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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