with your own penis?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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