You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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