He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I want a musical about memes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
