Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
