I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
