one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
