when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
