I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
