Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
