8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ttyl tear gas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
