put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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