I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
