is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
two words...techno handjob
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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