i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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