The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I met the friendliest cop last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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