I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
