i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
