I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
