Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
