Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
