real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
