soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
