oh god the rape fog is back!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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