No awkward lesbian experiences without me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
