Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
