just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
