16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
