all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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