I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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