ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
