I bet he comes in French.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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