theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
