TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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