just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
