I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
