In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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