Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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