he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
