Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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