bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
