i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
