hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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